Reflections on my Music Career & The Grammys
The focal point of this episode is the significance of Grammy Week, a time that not only celebrates musical achievements but also emphasizes the importance of community and wellness within the music industry. I share my personal experiences and reflections on attending a panel organized by Julia Botnsky, the director of education for the Grammys' nonprofit side, where discussions centered on the contributions of women in music. As I contemplate my own journey in the music realm, I express how witnessing the accomplishments of my peers, who are winning Grammys, has reignited my passion and aspirations within this field. Furthermore, I delve into the multifaceted nature of the Grammys, highlighting the intersection of artistry and mental health support provided by organizations such as Music Cares. This episode serves as an exploration of the challenges and triumphs faced by artists, urging listeners to remain steadfast in their creative pursuits and to embrace the transformative power of music.
The podcast delves into the intricate tapestry of Grammy Week, illuminating the multifaceted nature of the music industry through the lens of personal experience and professional insight. The host, reflecting on her own journey, recounts her visit to the Grammy Museum, where she was captivated by a panel discussion organized by her friend, Julia Botnsky, director of education for the Grammys. This panel, focusing on women in music, not only reignited her passion for her own musical aspirations but also underscored the importance of community and support within the industry. Amidst a backdrop of personal struggles and a reevaluation of career goals, the host articulates the profound impact that witnessing the achievements of peers has on her motivation. She emphasizes that the Grammys represent more than mere accolades; they symbolize a collective journey of artists striving for recognition and connection through their craft. The episode encapsulates the host's desire to bridge her experiences of music and wellness, ultimately aspiring to contribute positively to the artistic community while simultaneously nurturing her own artistic identity.
Takeaways:
- The Grammys encompass a broader spectrum than mere awards, as they significantly influence community welfare through programs like Music Cares, which addresses artists' mental and physical health needs.
- Experiencing Grammy Week and attending relevant panels can reignite one's passion for music, revealing the inspiring journeys of those nominated for prestigious awards.
- The pursuit of a career in music often entails navigating a challenging landscape, where the balance between artistic aspirations and financial stability presents a continuous struggle.
- Music serves not only as a form of artistic expression but also as a vital connection to a greater purpose, offering the potential for healing and transformation for both artists and audiences.
- Engagement in the music industry necessitates resilience, as artists frequently invest time and resources without immediate financial return, driven by their passion and dedication to their craft.
- The artist's journey is fraught with complexities, yet the overarching theme remains one of perseverance, underscoring the importance of community, support, and unwavering commitment to one's artistic vision.
Transcript
Hi, guys.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Music Is My Mantra, where we discuss all things music and wellness.
Speaker A:Today, I'm going to talk a little bit about Grammy Week.
Speaker A:I have one of my good friends who works at the Grammys.
Speaker A:She's the director of education for the nonprofit side of the Grammys.
Speaker A:Julia Botnsky.
Speaker A:Shout Out Girl.
Speaker A:If you're listening to my podcast, awesome.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:Every year I see that, you know, the Grammys threw her perspective of this big production.
Speaker A:And earlier this week, I was really lucky to get to go to the Grammy Museum, which anyone can go to the Grammy Museum.
Speaker A:But this day, there was a panel that Julie organized.
Speaker A:It was all about music, women in music.
Speaker A:If you listened to the earlier episodes that you'll know that this last year, I've been sort of disconnected from that dream that I've thought that I wanted and, you know, pursuing a career in music.
Speaker A:It's my.
Speaker A:My feelings have shifted, and I've gone through this different phase of reorganizing my priorities, but obviously, it's still very much alive inside of me because I felt so inspired going there and listening to these women speak about how they were all on this panel nominated for a Grammy, my age and younger and super talented, all with different backgrounds, different ways of getting into the industry.
Speaker A:There's.
Speaker A:There's the educational side, there's the music cares, which is all about, like, mental health, physical health for musicians.
Speaker A:I got custom earplugs last summer at one event that I went to, and that was all paid for by Music Harris.
Speaker A:They have a lot of great programs, like, even for artists that might struggle with addiction or alcohol issues, that sort of thing.
Speaker A:The Grammys and the Recording Academy mean so much more to me than just, you know, the awards and the fancy costumes and that sort of thing.
Speaker A:For sure.
Speaker A:That's been a dream of mine, to get to that space where your music has so much impact on people that even know you.
Speaker A:You have a platform with your songs, and your music is affecting people for better or worse.
Speaker A:It's just really interesting to sort of watch my thoughts as all of this happens because I actually feel more connected to the Grammys, more connected to that whole program than ever, because I do have friends that are winning Grammys this year and last year, too, honestly, Nicole Zuridis.
Speaker A:And this year, Nicole and her husband Dan.
Speaker A:If you guys listen to this.
Speaker A:Hey, what's up?
Speaker A:It's just.
Speaker A:It's so awesome.
Speaker A:I was at one of Nicole's shows a few months ago, and I just, you know, I was telling her, like, I First of all, we met because my old guitar player in New York plays for her band.
Speaker A:She gave me voice lessons at one point while I was still living there.
Speaker A:She's just really inspirational.
Speaker A:I love her energy.
Speaker A:She's got really fun social media.
Speaker A:She's very down to earth.
Speaker A:When I saw her last, she gave me the advice of, you know, music will always be there, and sometimes you just have to take a step back and figure out other things in your life.
Speaker A:And it's so.
Speaker A:It's so true.
Speaker A:One thing that most people don't see unless you're an artist yourself is the struggle that it can be to have an art where if you're an artist, you don't necessarily get compensated for being an artist.
Speaker A:You know, it's very much like you have to put in all the work, and then potentially down the road, it'll come back to you.
Speaker A:It's crazy because even today, I feel like I'm living two different lives sometimes.
Speaker A:I want stability, and I want.
Speaker A:You know, I want to be able to pay my bills and have a nice life.
Speaker A:I feel like as I've gotten older, those things are more and more important to me.
Speaker A:But I still have this dream to come into work every day, have all of these responsibilities for my clients and the car dealership stuff that I do.
Speaker A:I don't think I've mentioned that, but currently I do all the social media and events for three of three dealerships that my uncle owns.
Speaker A:And it's been a really good stabilizing thing for me.
Speaker A:You know, this is how I'm able to make this podcast happen, but it's also, like, when I'm there, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm not fully able to be myself because maybe that's all in my head, and that's a story that I'm working on changing, right?
Speaker A:But it's like, when I step into my artistry and my music and, like, the fun pieces of clothing that I get to wear, that's not at work, that's when I feel like myself.
Speaker A:That's when I feel like I'm.
Speaker A:I'm able to, like, thrive and just come alive.
Speaker A:Hey, guys, if you're watching this on YouTube, we're back @ my home.
Speaker A:The studio had a band playing next door, and it was just really loud, even with the noise canceling on, so I sort of ran out of there.
Speaker A:And so this episode might be a little bit disjointed, but bear with me.
Speaker A:I was talking about how it's Grammy week, and today is the Grammys, so This is always a really cool moment.
Speaker A:Growing up, I remember watching it on the TV.
Speaker A:When I turned 30, this is when I had the crazy idea that I wanted to win a Grammy.
Speaker A:And that sounds so.
Speaker A:To me, that even sounds crazy when I say it, because the music industry is a really young industry, and I didn't feel like I was 30.
Speaker A:When I turned 30, I felt like I was just starting to get the hang of life, because throughout my entire 20s, I was struggling just to survive, and I was working multiple jobs all at the same time.
Speaker A: It was: Speaker A:When I moved to New York, I was 21 years old.
Speaker A:It took me two years to get into the rhythm of things.
Speaker A:I started singing with bands.
Speaker A:Like, right when I got there, I started dating musicians.
Speaker A:I moved into this place called the Rad Pad.
Speaker A:I just learned so much about music.
Speaker A:Everyone that I lived with was an artist of some kind.
Speaker A:We lived over a basement space that we used to throw shows.
Speaker A:My roommate Aaron had an entire wall.
Speaker A:Like, our entire living room was just all his record collection.
Speaker A:We used to play his records.
Speaker A:He used to play his records.
Speaker A:Every time he'd come home, he came home with a new record.
Speaker A:There were tons of these record stores all over Greenpoint, where we lived.
Speaker A:It really opened my eyes to so much music.
Speaker A:I just.
Speaker A:New York in general.
Speaker A:I used to.
Speaker A:I used to do art installations with my friends for clubs, hotel lobbies.
Speaker A:I was totally newly introduced to the world of jazz and then completely separate.
Speaker A:The underground club scene of music and house music.
Speaker A:All of this really informed who I was.
Speaker A:I started playing.
Speaker A: Let's see, that was: Speaker A:I moved there.
Speaker A: I remember: Speaker A:That was.
Speaker A:I had been writing songs for those three years in New York, but it was, like, very much my own.
Speaker A:In the privacy of my own space.
Speaker A:I just.
Speaker A:I had no idea how to get started.
Speaker A:Even though I was playing with other bands and singing and stuff, I just felt very.
Speaker A:I had no idea what I was doing.
Speaker A: So finally: Speaker A:It was Greenpoint Open Studios, and I had my first performance of my own original music.
Speaker A:It's crazy to think that it's now been 11 years since I gave my first performance, because sometimes I feel like I did when I was just 26, just starting out.
Speaker A:Now it's like it's been six years since I was like, I'm gonna win a Grammy, you know?
Speaker A: And from: Speaker A:And I had a punk band called Always Hard, and I was playing all the underground clubs that are now shut down in Brooklyn.
Speaker A:It's crazy to think how much my life has transformed and how much more confident.
Speaker A:Confidence I have in myself, how much more knowledge I have.
Speaker A:But I still feel.
Speaker A:And I have friends that are winning Grammys.
Speaker A:It's so amazing.
Speaker A:So in some ways, I'm so much closer than ever.
Speaker A: remember when I moved here in: Speaker A:I was envisioning my ideal life, and I was thinking, okay, I'm going to do songwriting sessions with people every single week.
Speaker A:I had to get a job to cover my bills.
Speaker A:All of my time was going to work.
Speaker A:And then Covid happened.
Speaker A:Between when I first moved to New York, up until now, I've put together five different iterations of my band, and I was so reliant on them.
Speaker A:You know, even having this space to record this podcast in, I've been back and forth, do I need it?
Speaker A:I can record it here in my house.
Speaker A:You know, at the end of the day, I don't think any of us, these little decisions matter.
Speaker A:But then I also know that all of the little decisions add up to bring us to where we're meant to be and to achieve our goals at the end of the day.
Speaker A:You know, this is why I love, like, bullet journals.
Speaker A:I have different apps that I use to track certain things.
Speaker A:Seeing my friends win Grammys is, like, the coolest thing, and it.
Speaker A:It makes me realize that I'm not that far away and neither are you.
Speaker A:You know, it's like you just have to put the time in.
Speaker A:Like, part of the reason why I started this podcast was that I want to be able to show up for myself and prove that I can do this.
Speaker A:I want to be art interviewing other artists.
Speaker A:I want to be interviewing songwriters.
Speaker A:Maybe Julie, my friend, will come and talk about her experience with the Grammys.
Speaker A:I think that would be really interesting.
Speaker A:You know, there's the wellness side of it, too.
Speaker A:It's like, I know that I have the potential and the power to help people through music.
Speaker A:So I guess I do have a few exciting updates.
Speaker A:What has transpired since I started this podcast just a month ago?
Speaker A:What, you know, is it.
Speaker A:Things are still in the works, but I got to play sound bowls on a friend's record, which is amazing.
Speaker A:That was the first time that I've ever recorded singing bowls with a producer, my friend Mario, who is great he mixed and mastered my last two tracks, Lonely Rider and Satellite.
Speaker A:Soon I'll be hosting a weekly class out in Sherman Oaks.
Speaker A:It's going to be called Voice Alchemy.
Speaker A:I want it to be sort of a continuation of the things that I spoke about on last week's episode.
Speaker A:I really got into the nitty gritty of the different ways and modalities that come into existence when we are talking about music and wellness.
Speaker A:There's music therapy and then there's sound healing.
Speaker A:I think that both of the different modalities really valid.
Speaker A:I'm constantly learning more about music and more about the healing side of things.
Speaker A:I'm really excited to host that class.
Speaker A:It's going to be at this really special new space that's opening up.
Speaker A:So more details on that to come.
Speaker A:Lastly, I started giving voice lessons again.
Speaker A:So this next Thursday I'm opening up my home to give them here from my piano downstairs.
Speaker A:And you know, even just giving voice lessons is such an empowering place to be in because I get to work one on one with students that, you know, want to improve in singing.
Speaker A:But there's so much more when you are taking singing lessons.
Speaker A:There's so much more that you get out of just learning how to sing.
Speaker A:It's about confidence, it's about storytelling, it's about being more in touch with your body, you know.
Speaker A:So I guess like to tie it all back to the Grammys.
Speaker A:I see the dresses and I see the awards and I see all of the things that music cares does for the community and I really, I really want to be a part of that community and I am a part of that community.
Speaker A:I was in Grammy U for a whole year where I was a member of the Recording Academy.
Speaker A:But there's different levels.
Speaker A:The next step would be for me to apply to become a, voting a full time voting member of the academy.
Speaker A:I've been so afraid to do this, you guys.
Speaker A:I, I haven't even really admitted it to myself because I've just been putting it off and putting it off.
Speaker A:But I've been so intimidated by the idea of spending all of this time and energy to like network and promote myself when naturally, like there's been so many times where I just, I'm playing a show and then it happens to be all Grammy people.
Speaker A:Like this has happened multiple times when I'm, when I'm booking shows in January since I moved here, even just going to see Nicole perform or different friends that I've made now that are winning Grammys.
Speaker A:It's like I Get to meet more and more of the recording academy community.
Speaker A:So all of this is say that.
Speaker A:I guess just, you know, saying it out loud is, I think that there's power in it, in that itself.
Speaker A:My goal this year is to get my together and just do it.
Speaker A:You know, it's a lot of self promotion.
Speaker A:You'd think that because my day job is marketing, that I'd be really good at promoting myself, but it's hard.
Speaker A:And now I have people that are helping me to make this content.
Speaker A:So let's go, let's get the word out there.
Speaker A:I'm so excited to light up this podcast to start having guests on to continue to explore music and wellness and tell my story.
Speaker A:And these songwriters really made me feel like just, I had to just keep going and that it's easy to, to make things happen when you show up.
Speaker A:At the very beginning of my time here in la, I, I made the most of what, what I had, but I also had this old car and it was probably the coolest car that I've ever owned or that I've been, you know, responsible for for as long as I, I had it.
Speaker A:But I had this old Buick Skylark, and if you don't know what that is, it's this boat.
Speaker A: this red convertible from the: Speaker A:I used to drive this as my daily driver for eight months.
Speaker A:At first I was just super stoked and I was driving in everywhere.
Speaker A:And then, you know, I had one too many instances where the car just broke down.
Speaker A:Like the engine would overheat and it would stop when it was in stop and go traffic.
Speaker A:I just needed some modern parts and stuff.
Speaker A:It really scared me to like make the extra effort to just go attend these events and try to meet with people and put myself out there.
Speaker A:No, I can't.
Speaker A:I can't blame the car.
Speaker A:But looking back, I think it really did put a damper on things.
Speaker A:I had a moment where I was driving home from Hollywood one night after I wasn't performing that night.
Speaker A:I was just going to see friends and support people in the music seen.
Speaker A:If you've ever driven downtown, like the 10, like all of the, the freeways downtown, it gets really congested and confusing and if you don't get over far enough, you have to switch over like three different lanes as there's all this traffic.
Speaker A:Then he missed the, the main freeway and you get pulled off the road into this off ramp.
Speaker A:This is what happened to me.
Speaker A:As I'm driving this old car, I just remember thinking, oh, shoot, I Missed it.
Speaker A:But then I saw like another on rail.
Speaker A:So I'm like, oh great.
Speaker A:And I start speeding up.
Speaker A:Well, I didn't know that there were multiple on ramps coming in from my left hand side.
Speaker A:Normally, you know, you're just only coming in to merge on the main freeway.
Speaker A:Anyway, it's a crazy setup down there.
Speaker A:This giant SUV pulled out in front of me and I panicked in this convertible from the 70s.
Speaker A:You don't have like your anti lock brakes that you do today.
Speaker A:You're supposed to pump them to slowly slow down.
Speaker A:And I forgot I slammed on the brakes.
Speaker A:It was, it all happened so quickly, but immediately I started to spin out and I just like lost control.
Speaker A:So in that moment, I'm thinking I'm gonna die.
Speaker A:I'm spinning literally out of control and I'm gonna die.
Speaker A:And this is the end, you know, an on ramp coming onto the freeway.
Speaker A:It's literally, there's a cliff that's just held up by a long tube of cement.
Speaker A:The car just spun out, did a whole 180, crashed into the barrier.
Speaker A:And my passenger side tire was just suspended in midair.
Speaker A:I mean, thank God that the car was so heavy because it literally spun out, started to go over and I just like surrendered and I felt a thump.
Speaker A:I was like, wow, okay.
Speaker A:I thought I was going to legitimately just die.
Speaker A:Of course my adrenaline was super crazy and high.
Speaker A:I didn't know what to do, but I just sat there for a little bit and there wasn't any traffic at this point of night.
Speaker A: It was like: Speaker A:Luckily a car stopped and this guy got out and he just put his hazard lights on to, you know, warn like other cars coming to slow down.
Speaker A:At the end I asked him what his name was.
Speaker A:Like he helped me call the police and everything.
Speaker A:And he was like, Angel.
Speaker A:And I thought that was like pretty interesting because I mean, the whole thing just felt like I was being protected, truly.
Speaker A:As soon as I got out of the car, I went how far off?
Speaker A:I was hanging off of this cliff.
Speaker A:I looked down and there's just this paper that says, Jesus loves you so much.
Speaker A:You can't make this stuff up.
Speaker A:And then I've got Angel over here protecting me.
Speaker A:Like it was insane.
Speaker A:So luckily the cops came, the tow truck came, I got it fixed.
Speaker A:Insurance covered some of it too.
Speaker A:And they covered most of it, actually.
Speaker A:You know, that was really traumatic, like super scary.
Speaker A:I started praying every single time that I got in the car.
Speaker A:Like he's just getting me there in one piece.
Speaker A:That's why I got the Subaru Forester because it has super high safety ratings.
Speaker A:It's super reliable.
Speaker A:And I just needed that safety and that.
Speaker A:That grounding and that feeling.
Speaker A:That's kind of the way that I feel about the job that I have right now.
Speaker A:You know, it's like the music industry.
Speaker A:There's no.
Speaker A:It's a huge risk to take.
Speaker A:Every year you see more news headlines about, like, how Spotify isn't paying artists anym more with, like, less than a thousand streams.
Speaker A:You know, I've never gotten over a thousand streams on one song.
Speaker A: c out every single year since: Speaker A:Just about every single year.
Speaker A:Sometimes it feels like there's just like, what am I doing this for?
Speaker A:I want it to be my career.
Speaker A:And when I was playing shows every single weekend, I was making money from music.
Speaker A:But now that I've been in this limbo time, like taking time off to write, it was like, I'm just.
Speaker A:I'm just investing in myself with a hope and a dream that it'll turn into something.
Speaker A:That's what's really inspiring about songwriters, because when they're writing, they don't see anything until the song blows up.
Speaker A:They don't get paid for writing in sessions.
Speaker A:I just.
Speaker A:I watched Beyonce's acceptance speech, and a lot of artists get up there and they're like, I thank God.
Speaker A:It really is like, to play music.
Speaker A:I don't.
Speaker A:You know, you may have your own thoughts and judgments about Beyonce, but a lot of artists will get up there and thank God because there's just.
Speaker A:There's no way that I could ever see myself getting to the top or having the success that I've even had in this life up until this point.
Speaker A:And the transformations that I've had to get me as far as I've come without something greater than myself.
Speaker A:I guess that's where the wellness comes in.
Speaker A:You know, it's.
Speaker A:It's the surrender, it's the faith.
Speaker A:One thing you might not know about the Grammys is that there's a ton of genres.
Speaker A:There's so many genres that you can actually win awards for, and they don't.
Speaker A:There's the awards ceremony, which goes on for hours before the actual awards show, which is the televised thing, and there's so many different genres.
Speaker A:And I think that.
Speaker A:And a lot of people are really upset because they're like, well, you can't just come in and do this.
Speaker A:But, you know, that's what's really intimidating.
Speaker A:Also, I remember thinking like, when I first started putting my songs out there, that in my mind, I heard all of these different instruments and stuff, and I had no idea how it was going to make the record sound like what I heard.
Speaker A:But I didn't know anything about production at that point.
Speaker A:I didn't know anything about recording.
Speaker A:You know, these are all things that I've just learned.
Speaker A:I've taught myself.
Speaker A:I've joined different groups online.
Speaker A:People want to put you in a box, for sure.
Speaker A:To even be considered for a Grammy, you have to know what genre you're in.
Speaker A:And I think when you're in classical or you write music for films or you're a jazz singer, maybe it's a little bit easier to say where you fall into things.
Speaker A:When I first started performing, everyone called me a folk artist.
Speaker A:And I just.
Speaker A:I never listened to folk music.
Speaker A:I never considered myself a folk artist.
Speaker A:And then I got a band, and then we were a punk band because we just.
Speaker A:All we knew was to play loud and to play hard.
Speaker A:I guess that's why I've just, you know, I've put out rock music in the past few years because my first instrument was a guitar.
Speaker A:Rock music is guitar based.
Speaker A:I remember asking my music mentor, Chris Kopeca, like, what makes a country song?
Speaker A:What makes a country record?
Speaker A:And he said, you know, well, it's like.
Speaker A:It's mostly.
Speaker A:It's a little bit the lyrics, but also the instrumentation.
Speaker A:You know, you might use, like pedal guitar, like steel guitar, banjo, that sort of thing.
Speaker A:My music's a little bit country, but then there's definitely, like, the songwriting element to country music.
Speaker A:Even Casey Musgraves, who dabbles in both pop and country, got a lot of heat for creating non traditional country music.
Speaker A:So it's definitely interesting to see how the award show evolves, because at the end of the day, it is a popularity contest.
Speaker A:And I guess that's why part of me, like, doesn't care about winning a Grammy.
Speaker A:But it's also like, one of those things where you want to be recognized for your songs and your music takeaway is here today is that the artist path is.
Speaker A:It can be super difficult.
Speaker A:There's a lot of things that are working against you, and that's where, like, the wellness comes in.
Speaker A:It's that.
Speaker A:That love and the devotion to something that makes you feel connected to God or to Source.
Speaker A:That's what music does for me, and that's why I want to share it with people.
Speaker A:It's not about winning a Grammy, although that would be probably so much fun and so cool.
Speaker A:It's just about showing up.
Speaker A:It's showing up for your craft, showing up for your podcast, for your marketing, for yourself.
Speaker A:Showing up for yourself.
Speaker A:I hope you learned something from this episode today.
Speaker A:At the very least, I hope you feel a little bit inspired to trust in your path and trust in the things that you actively choose to be devoted to, whether that's music or singing or.
Speaker A:Or wellness, taking some time for yourself.
Speaker A:If you got something out of this episode today, please, like, subscribe, save, share it with a friend.
Speaker A:Maybe you know, an artist that is going through the thought process of, like, do I keep doing my music?
Speaker A:Do I not share this episode with them?
Speaker A:Because we all have dreams when we're first starting to put ourselves out there or maybe like four or five years in, when things start to be exciting, we feel and see the momentum and the progress that we're making and we allow ourselves to dream bigger.
Speaker A:But then, like, things start to get a little hard, you know, and you just, you have to just come back to your why of why are you doing it?
Speaker A:How does it make you feel?
Speaker A:How can you help other people through the way that it makes you feel?
Speaker A:So be sure to subscribe to my channel.
Speaker A:I'll see you so next week, stay healthy, wealthy and wise.
Speaker A:Bye.
