Finding Your Authentic Voice (And Why It’s Different Than You Think)
This podcast episode delves into the profound theme of awakening one's authentic voice, presenting a nuanced exploration of self-expression and identity. The discussion emphasizes that an authentic voice is not merely about the sound produced but is intrinsically tied to an individual's understanding of themselves and their experiences. I reflect on the necessity of confronting fears associated with visibility and acknowledgment, highlighting that such fears inhibit genuine expression. Furthermore, I share personal anecdotes illustrating the journey of self-discovery and the importance of embracing vulnerability in the pursuit of authenticity. By engaging in reflective exercises, listeners are encouraged to explore and articulate their unique voices, culminating in a richer understanding of their true selves.
Takeaways:
- The episode emphasizes the importance of awakening one's authentic voice and self-expression.
- We discussed the fear of being seen and heard, which often hinders authentic expression.
- Authenticity is not merely about sound but understanding and embracing one's true self.
- Cultural trends often create barriers to genuine self-expression, making authenticity challenging.
Transcript
Foreign.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Music Is My Mantra.
Speaker A:This is episode 11.
Speaker A:I'm so excited to be here with you guys.
Speaker A:Thank you so much for tuning in every Monday.
Speaker A:We've got a new episode for you today.
Speaker A:We're going to be talking all about awakening your authentic voice, which is different than what you think it probably is.
Speaker A:We're in March, and this month for Women's History Month, we're talking all about awakening your expression.
Speaker A:So last week, we dove in to the fear of being seen and heard.
Speaker A:And next week, our last episode of this mini series will be all about using intention, the healing power of mantra, and intentional sound.
Speaker A:Last week I mentioned that you can't have an authentic voice if you're still afraid of being seen and heard.
Speaker A:And that's because if you're afraid of being seen and heard, then you're not going to be able to express who you are because you don't want to be seen and heard.
Speaker A:Or like myself, maybe you want to be seen and heard very badly, but you're afraid and it's unconscious.
Speaker A:And so we talked about bringing that to our awareness so that we could transform it and work with it and regulate our nervous system to move forward and then go into practicing being seen and heard.
Speaker A:A lot of this episode really piggybacks off the last one, because to find your authentic voice, it does take a lot of practice.
Speaker A:That's not necessarily for everyone because some people definitely have a more defined idea of self than others.
Speaker A:For example, myself, I feel like I'm a little bit more of a chameleon.
Speaker A:I feel like some days I want to dress this way and some days I want to act that way.
Speaker A:I can see my patterns.
Speaker A:To be honest, a lot of them change from week to week because of my hormones and my cycle that affects my emotion and my mood.
Speaker A:You might be more like me.
Speaker A:You might be a little bit more stable in your sense of self.
Speaker A:You know, it could be that you only wear yellow or you really love roses, or you just.
Speaker A:You identify as a surfer.
Speaker A:You're out there every morning, you're catching those waves, whatever it is.
Speaker A:We all have this idea of self.
Speaker A:But to find your authentic voice, it comes from knowing yourself.
Speaker A:We're going to talk a little bit about that today.
Speaker A:Honestly, this is one of my favorite things to do because singing, there's so many different styles of singing.
Speaker A:For the longest time, I was not trained in one particular style.
Speaker A:I grew up singing in church, and so I learned more of that choral, youth, rock band way to sing.
Speaker A:And then I was in choir in high school.
Speaker A:But aside from that, until I started actually working with voice teachers, my voice was sort of just there.
Speaker A:On days when I felt really confident, I would sing really loud.
Speaker A:And on days where I was just not feeling so good, I would play the guitar and I would just kind of hum along and be really soft.
Speaker A:But it just felt good to make some vibrations.
Speaker A:What makes an authentic voice?
Speaker A:Have you ever felt that your voice isn't really you?
Speaker A:Maybe it's a mask that you wear to hide your true self.
Speaker A:Lady Gaga, Beyonce, all of these amazing performers, Madonna, they all talk about having to use this idea of borrowed confidence.
Speaker A:You step into this alter ego Persona to really become the performer that they are.
Speaker A:I think that's really interesting because if you hear them sing, you would say that they are authentic to themselves.
Speaker A:Like, Beyonce has a very defined way of singing and her voice is very distinct.
Speaker A:Same with Lady Gaga.
Speaker A:But if you listen to Lady Gaga in the Star Is Born, she worked with a singing coach to be able to sing in more of an operatic style compared to the way that she would sing in a pop or country record that she's put out.
Speaker A:These little tweaks in our voice are really interesting.
Speaker A:Personally, I can say that when I first started taking voice lessons in New York, I worked with Marlon Saunders, who's this incredible singer.
Speaker A:He's worked with Stevie Wonder.
Speaker A:He sings like go gospel and soul music.
Speaker A:And the biggest takeaway I learned from him was really to use storytelling and sing from the heart when you're singing a song.
Speaker A:Working with him, I started to gain a little more confidence.
Speaker A:I felt really aligned with his methods because I was self taught up until that point with guitar.
Speaker A:And I always created music from a soulful place.
Speaker A:But I sounded like a little country white girl, you know, trying to sing like Rihanna and these R and B songs.
Speaker A:It wasn't really until I worked with John Brancy, who is an opera singer, that he really was able to give me a different perspective on how to technically use my voice because my voice may have shifted or changed in between those two teachers.
Speaker A:That doesn't make either of them less authentic.
Speaker A:What makes a voice authentic is that you are being true to yourself.
Speaker A:It's not necessarily about the sound or the quality.
Speaker A:We can work on those things and we can sound different the way that Lady Gaga trained with an opera coach to be able to sing in that bel canto style.
Speaker A:What makes an authentic voice is whether or not we've acknowledged ourself all of the conditioning that makes up our reality.
Speaker A:And then Let that go.
Speaker A:Because when we can decide who we are after we've looked at our past trauma or we've looked at the experiences we've had that have shaped us, and then we look at the culture that is shaping us every day, only then can we see our true selves.
Speaker A:Only then can we be authentic.
Speaker A:It's so interesting to me right now because you have Instagram and TikTok and these are highly trend driven platforms.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:When you are creating a video reel and you're using a trend, it's not new, it's not you.
Speaker A:You can make it your own.
Speaker A:Just like when you're singing a cover song, but you didn't come up with the trend.
Speaker A:What makes it a trend is that people copy you.
Speaker A:And so you can do it in your authentic style, but it's not authentically you.
Speaker A:And so again, our culture really doesn't celebrate authenticity.
Speaker A:It says that it does, but it doesn't.
Speaker A:Because the way that the systems are built around us, there's room for authenticity.
Speaker A:But it's very pigeonholed.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Everyone says that they love authenticity because they want to be entertained, they want to see a new perspective.
Speaker A:But most people can't actually hold their own perspective because oftentimes they don't even know what it is.
Speaker A:Unless you've done a super deep dive on your values, what you love, and you really know who you are, and you have hobbies of your own, you have places and tastes and things that you like.
Speaker A:And you know that you, you like them because you like them, not because somebody else liked them and you're copying them or somebody told you that they were good so you're just going off of what you heard.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:The authentic self never lies.
Speaker A:It's not so much about how your voice sounds, it's more so about knowing yourself and knowing yourself to the point where you can feel safe in your body to stand out and to do something different.
Speaker A:Another way that this sort of copycat culture continues to spiral, if you will, is in the dictation of singers.
Speaker A:So if you look back anytime from like the 80s and beyond, like backwards in our past, you know, if you watch old videos, none of those singers were using autotune.
Speaker A:So in today's world, everything is auto tuned.
Speaker A:So much so that our ear expects things to be auto tuned when we don't hear that sort of fake pitch.
Speaker A:Like the world's most perfect singers don't sing on a perfect line because we're human.
Speaker A:We sing with vibrato, we sing above and below the note and that's in tune.
Speaker A:But with Auto Tune, it squishes everything.
Speaker A:And there's like very little minimal change in the voice we're used to now in today's world, hearing everything through that lens, which is not reality, it's literally not possible to sing that way.
Speaker A:You have to go through a process like a processor, basically.
Speaker A:When I put out my very first record, it was nine songs and I recorded it all acoustically.
Speaker A:And I worked with this producer called the 83rd.
Speaker A:He had a whole studio that was full of analog gear that he made translate into digital.
Speaker A:So he was really excited to record my album in a very raw format.
Speaker A:And I thought it was great.
Speaker A:I thought it sounded so cool.
Speaker A:Even know he definitely talked it up.
Speaker A:He had his own vision for it.
Speaker A:But I was down and I was just excited to record.
Speaker A:And I love what came out of it.
Speaker A:But when I sent those songs around to people, everyone told me that they just sounded like demos.
Speaker A:And I was like, definitely kind of hurt because I had put so much time and energy into these raw recordings.
Speaker A:But the reality is that I didn't.
Speaker A:I didn't use Auto Tune.
Speaker A:And if I had gone and re recorded those songs in a much more polished, produced way, then I would have made the songs in within the standard of today's sound.
Speaker A:And then people probably wouldn't have said it sounds like a demo.
Speaker A:They would have had other critiques.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:That's really interesting because what is an authentic voice?
Speaker A:The authentic voice comes from within.
Speaker A:It's not the sound we make.
Speaker A:Again, this comes back to the idea of being able to stand alone, to be strong in your likes, in your values, to know yourself.
Speaker A:I remember around the time when I was just getting myself out there, probably about eight years ago, and I got connected with this publicist.
Speaker A:It was a music publicist.
Speaker A:I was so excited to work with her because I thought, well, I got connected to her through my roommate.
Speaker A:So I'm probably gonna hit it off with her.
Speaker A:We're probably gonna work together.
Speaker A:I had all these exciting expectations because this was the first time that I really wanted to get my work out there.
Speaker A:So I sent her my songs and she replied and broke my heart.
Speaker A:She said there was a time and a place for this vintage sound, but that my music needed a reason to exist.
Speaker A:And I took that to mean what?
Speaker A:I don't have a reason to exist?
Speaker A:So my music has no purpose of being put out there.
Speaker A:It hurt.
Speaker A:I definitely cried over it.
Speaker A:You know, I had such high expectations of working with this person.
Speaker A:And I was so proud of what I had come to record those songs and I had to shake it up and keep going because I learned from that experience.
Speaker A:And now I know what people expect when it comes to production.
Speaker A:The vintage sound continues to be redone all the time.
Speaker A:So what she was saying to me didn't really mean anything.
Speaker A:She was just trying to sell me on her program instead of taking on one on one clients.
Speaker A:It wasn't about me at all.
Speaker A:And so again, the more that we can stand in our own truth, our God given truth that we are worthy of creating and we are worthy of being seen and we are worthy of being heard, all of this, these are the beliefs that we need to embody.
Speaker A:And in the future, I'll have to do a more in depth episode on beliefs.
Speaker A:But I know I've mentioned it in the past.
Speaker A:It's like whatever we believe is what will manifest in our life.
Speaker A:Whatever we focus on grows.
Speaker A:Right here is a fun exercise that you can do that is related to the voice that helps you to get to know your voice a little bit better.
Speaker A:Like I said, having an authentic voice doesn't have to do with the sound.
Speaker A:But I will say, when I was starting to play music with people in New York, I was in a punk band.
Speaker A:I was.
Speaker A:I had so much creative space to make weird sounds.
Speaker A:Like we just played loud and we just played and sang and screamed and that expression was so healing for me because I got to, you know, I didn't have to be perfect.
Speaker A:I didn't have to make a pretty sound.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:It was crazy.
Speaker A:It was like, whatever.
Speaker A:That's the kind of energy that you need to start to explore yourself.
Speaker A:Because having this idea of perfect or beautiful is something to strive towards.
Speaker A:But we need to know our dark side too.
Speaker A:We need to know that we can be ugly and still be safe.
Speaker A:Does that make sense?
Speaker A:We need to be able to make all sorts of sounds and feel safe to do so.
Speaker A:If you have a private space, you might feel more comfortable doing this because it is a little bit awkward right at first.
Speaker A:People might hear you being like, is she okay in there?
Speaker A:And so just to avoid any weirdness, I would recommend like going into your car, going for a walk out on the beach where there's not a lot of people, just again.
Speaker A:So you can kind of start in that safe space.
Speaker A:We're gonna make some sound.
Speaker A:We're gonna make some weird loud sound.
Speaker A:In order to do this, I want you to use your voice memo recorder on your phone.
Speaker A:I want you to turn it on and Just start speaking or singing if you have a song.
Speaker A:If you don't know the words, doesn't matter.
Speaker A:Just sing.
Speaker A:Make up the words.
Speaker A:Use sounds if you need to.
Speaker A:Like, like.
Speaker A:The goal here is just to make sound.
Speaker A:Let loose.
Speaker A:One of my favorite exercises that I like to do with vocal students is a run through all the notes in our octaves as we're singing through all.
Speaker A:Through all of our range.
Speaker A:So we start low and we go high.
Speaker A:So you can try that if you want.
Speaker A:You want to hit as many notes as possible.
Speaker A:And even that is containment, right?
Speaker A:That's a structure.
Speaker A:So that's just one option if you need some direction.
Speaker A:But turn on your recorder.
Speaker A:Talk.
Speaker A:You can set an alarm if you want.
Speaker A:Three minutes.
Speaker A:Three minutes.
Speaker A:Talk, Sing.
Speaker A:Just make noise.
Speaker A:You can scream if you want.
Speaker A:Oh, you can yell.
Speaker A:You can do whatever you want.
Speaker A:The point is that you're just not judging yourself, and you're just making sound for three minutes.
Speaker A:When you're done, come back, Come back, listen to your recording.
Speaker A:This might be a good time to grab a journal or something, because you're going to have some thoughts that come up.
Speaker A:They might be judgmental, they might be not nice, but this is a moment to see what comes up for you and take inventory of how you're speaking to yourself.
Speaker A:What did it feel like to have that much freedom to express yourself?
Speaker A:Sound singing and using your authentic voice, it's not about sounding perfect.
Speaker A:It's about standing in your truth, standing on your own two feet, standing with your beliefs, your values, and leaning into those beliefs and those values and knowing what.
Speaker A:What is true and thinking for yourself, and sometimes thinking for yourself and acting and speaking for yourself means we have to get out of our comfort zone.
Speaker A:I want you to try this.
Speaker A:This is your homework for this week.
Speaker A:If you want to take on this challenge, choose a song that you like.
Speaker A:It could be challenging.
Speaker A:It could be easy.
Speaker A:Any song.
Speaker A:I want you to record yourself singing the song at least once and listen back to it and then journal about what comes up.
Speaker A:Kind of like what we just did, but with a song.
Speaker A:One thing that I still do to this day is when I'm practicing, I always record myself, and it's to listen back.
Speaker A:And of course I want to get better.
Speaker A:But it's so interesting how in the moment while I'm performing, I might feel a certain way or not, but depending on what mood I'm in, when I listen back to the song, my perception of that recording will change.
Speaker A:And so, again, give yourself some grace.
Speaker A:Give yourself a little bit of love.
Speaker A:Laugh it out.
Speaker A:This is all a learning process and you should be really proud that you have even taken the time to listen to this today.
Speaker A:So thank you for being here.
Speaker A:If this has been helpful in any way, let me know how the exercise goes.
Speaker A:DM me share this episode if you enjoyed it, maybe you can share it with a friend and you guys can help unlock any blocks that you have around your self confidence or your voice and your personal expression together.
Speaker A:I can't wait to see you next week where we will talk about all things intention and sound and that will wrap up our mini series on awakening our voice.
Speaker A:Thanks again for joining me.
Speaker A:I'll see you next week and until then, stay healthy, wealthy and wise.
Speaker A:Bye.
