Releasing Stuck Emotions Through Sound
This episode delves into the profound interplay between voice and emotion, specifically focusing on the theme of releasing stuck emotions through sound. I intend to illuminate how our vocal expressions are intrinsically linked to our emotional states, positing that our voices serve as energetic maps of our internal experiences. I will also share insights related to my upcoming class, Vocal Alchemy, where I explore foundational concepts that underpin vocal expression and its transformative potential. Through our discussion, we shall examine the significance of breath regulation and its connection to emotional management, emphasizing the necessity of allowing oneself to vocalize feelings freely. As we engage in this exploration, I encourage listeners to reflect on their own experiences with communication and the limitations that may arise from societal conditioning.
Takeaways:
- The podcast episode discusses the significance of voice and the profound impact it has on one's emotional expression.
- Listeners are encouraged to explore the connection between breath and vocal production, emphasizing the need for breath regulation.
- An important theme presented is the necessity of releasing emotions through sound to enhance personal expression and communication.
- The host shares personal anecdotes illustrating how childhood experiences shaped her relationship with self-expression and emotional management.
- Next week's episode will delve into overcoming the fear of being seen and heard, which is particularly relevant for women.
- The speaker invites feedback from listeners, underscoring the importance of community and shared learning in the journey of vocal exploration.
Transcript
Hi, guys.
Speaker A:Welcome back to another episode of music is my mantra.
Speaker A: sode nine and we are in March: Speaker A:That means that I'm talking about all things related to voice.
Speaker A:This month I start teaching a new class called vocal alchemy at a brand new space called Pure Heart Collective in Sherman Oaks.
Speaker A:I thought it'd be fun for this month to talk a little bit about the voice and all aspects of it, singing and how it can transform your life.
Speaker A:I hope you find this miniseries helpful.
Speaker A:If you do, let me know.
Speaker A:You can DM me, you can email me or leave me a review.
Speaker A:I would love it if you leave me a review, especially if you've found this information helpful.
Speaker A:This is just sort of foundational pieces of information that I'll be working on with my students who come to my class at Pure Heart Collective.
Speaker A:The theme of the month is awaken your expression.
Speaker A:And last week we talked all about breath and how important the breath is and how often we hold our breath if we're not even aware of it.
Speaker A:But our breath is our foundation for our voice.
Speaker A:Our emotions and our nervous system are very connected to the breath.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So it's important to regulate our nervous system and learn how to manage our emotions so that we can relax and live life confidently.
Speaker A:Today we're going to be talking all about releasing emotions through sound, which is one of my favorite topics and I'll tell you all about it as we get into it.
Speaker A:But I also wanna let you know that next week is going to be a very important episode.
Speaker A:This is going to be episode 10 where we talk about how to get over the fear of being seen and heard.
Speaker A:This is a big one, especially if you're a female.
Speaker A:This is huge.
Speaker A:Stay tuned for that.
Speaker A:So let's dive into episode number nine, releasing stuck emotions through sound.
Speaker A:Have you ever noticed that when you go to speak, there might be a lump in your throat or maybe you are crying and all of a sudden you just.
Speaker A:You can't even find the words anymore.
Speaker A:I've been there.
Speaker A:This is because your voice is not separate from your emotions.
Speaker A:Your voice is an energetic map of everything that you hold inside of you.
Speaker A:We talked a little bit about this last week where I gave the example of a generic saying.
Speaker A:I'm going to take out the trash.
Speaker A:Now, if I'm feeling very angry, it's going to sound very different than if I'm very excited about taking out the trash or.
Speaker A:Or maybe I'm just neutral and it sounds just how I said it.
Speaker A:Typically, we don't think about the emotions we have inside of us before we speak, we just speak and our emotions are present as we let them out.
Speaker A:And this is why it's very easy but confusing at the same time.
Speaker A:If somebody is passive aggressive and saying something towards you, but because you can feel their emotion coming through, even though they might not be saying directly how they're feeling.
Speaker A:Confusing now.
Speaker A:Growing up, I remember my mom always telling me, think before you speak.
Speaker A:This was maybe one of the first limiting terms of self expression that I ran into.
Speaker A:I wanted to be a good daughter and listen and make her proud, and I wanted her love and attention.
Speaker A:So I tried very carefully to limit what I would say layered on top of that.
Speaker A:My dad's side of the family had a lot of different dynamics at play, and one of them was that he wasn't necessarily present.
Speaker A:If you've listened to some of my past episodes, he had his own issues.
Speaker A:None of us have idyllic childhoods, but for sure, I have looked at a lot of my programming and it comes from these younger years.
Speaker A:And that's pretty common for everybody because up until seven, our brains are still developing and learning all about the world.
Speaker A:All of the impressions and interactions that we have with adults during that time are super important to the rest of our life.
Speaker A:All of that to say.
Speaker A:I really had to look at my own comfort levels with.
Speaker A:With hard conversations because I grew up always just wanting to avoid those conversations.
Speaker A:I grew up in a household where if things got heated, my mom and my stepdad would go in the other room and they'd work it out.
Speaker A:I think that's fine.
Speaker A:You know, whatever.
Speaker A:They're adults, they're doing their thing.
Speaker A:But I never got to understand what healthy conflict really looked like.
Speaker A:And because conflict is not a bad thing, but it's how we deal with it and how we handle our emotions during the conflict that really makes the big difference.
Speaker A:I can think of several times in my life where this has really reared its head.
Speaker A:Multiple times, I've had to break up with people.
Speaker A:I hate rocking the boat that hard, difficult conversation.
Speaker A:Bringing up that conversation with was like weighing on me.
Speaker A:And so I would lose my words.
Speaker A:And luckily, you know, every person that I've dated that I've had to break up with has been really understanding.
Speaker A:Oftentimes it was even mutual.
Speaker A:You know, we realized it wasn't a good fit.
Speaker A:But even just getting to that conversation, I would lose it.
Speaker A:I would just lose my words.
Speaker A:Like I said, I never felt like I was being shamed, but I had this preconceived idea that it was wrong for me to speak up and say what my needs were.
Speaker A:And I didn't want the other person to feel offended.
Speaker A:And so I wasn't even thinking about my needs.
Speaker A:It was everything was like about them and how they would perceive me.
Speaker A:And so I would get so caught up because all of those emotions and past histories were just at the forefront of my mind and my body was freaking out and my breath probably was not even existent.
Speaker A:It's probably just holding it all in.
Speaker A:That's pretty general.
Speaker A:Maybe you've had a similar situation.
Speaker A:And then there was another place where this has showed up in my life is in sales, talking about money.
Speaker A:So money can be a very controversial topic because everyone has a different perspective on what money is.
Speaker A:And I've definitely had to rewire my own thoughts and beliefs around money.
Speaker A:And I believe that money is not a bad thing.
Speaker A:It's just how we use it.
Speaker A:One of the beliefs that I had growing up was that there was never enough money because my parents were divorced.
Speaker A:My mom was raising us on a nonprofit salary.
Speaker A:Valid reasons, but not really the truth.
Speaker A:Because there's always a way to make money.
Speaker A:There's always opportunities out there if we choose to believe that.
Speaker A:When I got into sales, one of the first sales jobs that I had was during COVID This was selling life insurance, which you might think that sounds pretty morbid.
Speaker A:Courtney, what the heck?
Speaker A:You're kind of right.
Speaker A:At that point in my life, I had made the decision that I wanted to have a job where I could make money so that I could sustain my music career.
Speaker A:I thought, well, what better way to go into finance?
Speaker A:Because then I'm helping people with their future and I'm building a future for myself.
Speaker A:And eventually I can make my own hours and still create music and then have income.
Speaker A:I learned a lot about sales and people and finance, and it was a really great experience for me before I went back to marketing.
Speaker A:But some of those moments really, really built my confidence and opened up my throat chakra, honestly, because I was so afraid to ask questions that were not hard questions to ask, but I had to rewire my thoughts around them because we're taught that money is a very personal and private thing.
Speaker A:But if you're going to work in the space of finance, you need to be able to speak that language.
Speaker A:And so I had to get over this fear of talking about money and asking people very personal questions.
Speaker A:The fears that you might have are potentially very different from the blocks and fears that I've had growing up.
Speaker A:But I would probably look to your relationships and look to your finances as like key spaces where these limiting beliefs show up.
Speaker A:The things that are sort of taboo in culture to talk about, which are communication in relationships and money.
Speaker A:Oftentimes.
Speaker A:I mean, obviously I'm no expert in relationships, I'm single again.
Speaker A:But I understand the value of communication and I also understand how difficult it can be.
Speaker A:But I'm at the point now in my life where I'd rather talk about values and these deeper things up front before you really start to fall for somebody.
Speaker A:Because it's easy to fall for somebody if you're just having a good time with them.
Speaker A:But ultimately, relationships with people, relationships with money, it all comes down to communication and what our beliefs are.
Speaker A:My example, getting past the awkwardness in conversations around money or around breaking up with somebody.
Speaker A:The more that you practice, the easier it gets.
Speaker A:One way that you can use this in a day to day practice is really starting to look at your emotions.
Speaker A:So much of our voice and our breath and our body and our emotions are connected again to our nervous system.
Speaker A:If you start to feel uncomfortable around a certain topic, like relationships or like money, for example, that's a perfect place to start because you probably have a lot of emotions stored in the body based on how you grew up or different experiences that you've had.
Speaker A:Let's talk about how emotions get stuck in the body in the first place.
Speaker A:One, definitely growing up.
Speaker A:Like I said, between zero and seven, you're super impressionable.
Speaker A:Everything that you're taking in, all the examples that you're seeing from your parents and the people that are around you are literally imprinted on you.
Speaker A:Oftentimes we're not necessarily allowed to fully express ourselves.
Speaker A:Like the example that I gave.
Speaker A:I have this very specific memory of my mom saying, think before you speak.
Speaker A:That started me to get all up in my head, so many thoughts before I could say anything.
Speaker A:And that I also talked about this in the last episode.
Speaker A:When I was a teenager trying to talk to boys, I would talk about boys all the time because I was a little bit boy crazy.
Speaker A:But to actually come have a conversation with them was a completely different story because I was so in my head.
Speaker A:It's better to let it out than hold it in.
Speaker A:And this is something that my mom's side of the family is really bad at.
Speaker A:Like I'm just gonna say it.
Speaker A:It's very much comes from this place of wanting to be selfless for other people.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So instead of putting it on them, we hold it in because we don't want to seem emotional, because if we're emotional, then we might not be lovable.
Speaker A:This, I think, is a very strong story for women.
Speaker A:There's this idea that if we're too emotional, then we won't be loved because a man can't handle our emotions.
Speaker A:Because men aren't meant to be emotional.
Speaker A:They're supposed to be stoic.
Speaker A:I mean, that's a total lie.
Speaker A:Men are totally emotional.
Speaker A:All humans are emotional beings, but generally they don't have the same emotional wave that women do because we have this beautiful monthly cycle that comes in and messes up with our hormones.
Speaker A:And I know I get super emotional once a month.
Speaker A:I'm out for a whole week.
Speaker A:Bye.
Speaker A:It's really bringing awareness to these memories that might stop you from speaking if you physically.
Speaker A:What this can feel like or look like is a tightness in your throat.
Speaker A:If you grind your teeth at night, it could definitely be a stress thing, but it's also very much related to not expressing yourself.
Speaker A:If you're afraid of speaking up, if you're afraid of speaking in a group setting, if you lose your words or your voice cracks or shakes, these are all signs that there's probably a memory that's in our subconscious.
Speaker A:Or maybe we can think of it and recall it pretty quickly, but somewhere along the line, we were told to be quiet or that our voice didn't matter, or, you know, maybe somebody said something as a joke and we took it personally.
Speaker A:Because when you're younger, you don't really know the difference.
Speaker A:So you can take something to heart, and then it can affect you for a really long time.
Speaker A:And so part of it is just doing a deep dive on these emotions.
Speaker A:Whenever we start to feel a certain way that we can't say something, that we're not good enough or not we're not worthy enough or whatever.
Speaker A:The core thing is, there's always most definitely a story behind it that we need to bring awareness to.
Speaker A:And once we're aware of it, we can understand why we feel that way and move past it and decide to say something and decide to express ourselves.
Speaker A:If you've ever been told don't cry, or oh, it doesn't hurt that bad, or get over it, you know, when you're a little kid, all of these sayings are harmless sayings that maybe a parent or a teacher or someone who are trying to help us by shutting down our emotion, but that's literally doing the opposite.
Speaker A:It's making us shut down and teaching us to hold it in when really we just need Somebody to hold space for us so that we can feel these things and we can make the sound and we can cry.
Speaker A:If you feel social pressure, if you feel that, like if you have any fear that you'll be judged by putting out a piece of content or something like that, that is something to look at.
Speaker A:If you had a lot of strep throat growing up as a kid, that's something to look at.
Speaker A:I had strep throat every single year, elementary school, as a child, As a kid, you don't think anything of it.
Speaker A:But looking back, for sure, I was trying to be the perfect little girl.
Speaker A:I was trying to say the right thing.
Speaker A:I was always being introduced to new friends in the summertime because we'd go back and forth from my mom to my dad's place.
Speaker A:My dad would move around a lot to make friends.
Speaker A:I wanted to be liked to.
Speaker A:I wanted to have friends.
Speaker A:I learned early on to put everybody else's needs before mine.
Speaker A:So I never expressed my truth in what I wanted or needed.
Speaker A:I got strep throat every year.
Speaker A:Every single year.
Speaker A:There's a lot of energy here.
Speaker A:This is why singing, letting go of those emotions can be so powerful.
Speaker A:It's natural for us when we're feeling frustrated, to groan or to make a sound that's not pretty.
Speaker A:It's natural for us to sigh when we're feeling relief.
Speaker A:That's why it's powerful.
Speaker A:When you sigh intentionally.
Speaker A:You can trigger your body into feeling relief, even if the brain is telling you you're not relieved.
Speaker A:Like your body can override the brain in that case.
Speaker A:It's natural to laugh when you feel joy, or to cry when you feel overwhelmed, or if you fall and you scrape your knee.
Speaker A:If you were a child and somebody told you to be quiet probably sits with you.
Speaker A:I have very specific memories of growing up.
Speaker A:I would just be singing non stop, like covers of show tunes or Christina Aguilera.
Speaker A:And I wasn't trained, I didn't have voice lessons.
Speaker A:I was just singing loud.
Speaker A:And I was just so in my joy for hours and hours and loud, so loud at the top of my lungs, like just giving it everything I had because it just was so fun and I loved it.
Speaker A:I remember so many times I would be in my room, minding my own business, just singing away.
Speaker A:And then I'd hear like a banging at the door and I'd be told to shut up.
Speaker A:I would be told to be quiet.
Speaker A:You know, like, that's enough.
Speaker A:What could I do?
Speaker A:Like, when you're living at home, you just have to go by the rules of the household.
Speaker A:I think about that a lot.
Speaker A:Because when you are doing something so much because you love it, and then you tell.
Speaker A:You're basically told to stop, you.
Speaker A:You learn that it's not safe.
Speaker A:I still have issues around that to this day.
Speaker A:I still don't like to practice music when my roommates are home because I'm afraid that I'm gonna disturb them.
Speaker A:I've even had my neighbors tell me, like, wow, you're.
Speaker A:We love hearing your singing.
Speaker A:And so I've been complimented by my rehearsal, and I'm still afraid to sing in my own home space.
Speaker A:As an adult, the first step to releasing stuck emotions through sound is to make a sound.
Speaker A:If you are starting to feel overwhelmed and you want to cry, let it go.
Speaker A:If you're at the gym and it's hard, make a sound.
Speaker A:Like if you're in yoga class and you need to let out a loud sigh, let it out.
Speaker A:The more that you give yourself permission to make these sounds, it's going to be a snowball effect in giving yourself permission to speak more freely and to sing more freely.
Speaker A:Now, if you are afraid of being seen and heard, we're going to talk about this next week.
Speaker A:But one thing that I always love to tell people is take advantage of that time that you have by yourself.
Speaker A:Take advantage of the time that you are in the shower or that you are in the car.
Speaker A:Intentionally use that time to be as loud as you want.
Speaker A:Because not everybody has a studio space like this where I can, like, play the drums or, you know, crank up the amp or play slide guitar or something like that.
Speaker A:But our voice is the first place that we can go to make noise.
Speaker A:And if you don't live by nature, for example, like by the beach, here is a great place to go to make sound.
Speaker A:Then you get to be a little creative about it.
Speaker A:Now I get to go and sing at the top of my lungs.
Speaker A:Running down the beach in the middle of the day or in the morning, and nobody's there because it's wintertime.
Speaker A:Even if there are people, it's so big and there was waves crashing that nobody can hear me.
Speaker A:And it's just so nice to be in nature and to make sound and sing.
Speaker A:And sometimes I'm making, like, really weird sounds.
Speaker A:I'm just screaming, basically playing with my voice.
Speaker A:But this is part of the therapy that we need to break through all of that conditioning that we've had as kids and teenagers.
Speaker A:I remember when I lived in New York City, I would most of the time have headphones in.
Speaker A:When I was walking or taking the subway, and I would just start singing to myself as I'm walking.
Speaker A:Most people are just minding their own business.
Speaker A:And the more that I did it, the more that I realized that, like, people were not paying attention.
Speaker A:People don't care.
Speaker A:People just want to be doing their own thing.
Speaker A:There's so many people in New York City that they're just doing their own thing.
Speaker A:And unless you're busking and you're actually, you know, trying to get people's attention with an instrument and stuff, people are singing on the subway all the time.
Speaker A:And the good thing about subway is that when you're waiting on the stoop, it's loud.
Speaker A:When a train is coming, the sound echoes in the subway walls.
Speaker A:So it's fun, you know, it's fun to make sounds.
Speaker A:Maybe you just make a little sound and then you hear your echo, and it's like you're playing with yourself through this echoess tunnel.
Speaker A:Now, obviously, once you're in the subway car, you might not want to be singing because most of the time you're, like, cramped up with a thousand other people.
Speaker A:But this is where you get to go and get creative.
Speaker A:It's like those in between moments where if you need time for yourself or space for yourself, you can do that with sound.
Speaker A:You can use the humming technique that we did last week, and you can bring the vibration to your chest and feel it in your body and sort of let it unfold.
Speaker A:The first step to releasing those blocks is really just making sound.
Speaker A:It sounds so simple, making sound and starting to identify the moments that you were told to be quiet or that you were told to think before you speak, or maybe you were gaslit.
Speaker A:You know, like so many times.
Speaker A:I know that there's been moments in my life where it's like, oh, it doesn't hurt that bad, or get over it.
Speaker A:You know, any of these phrases.
Speaker A:They're trying to teach us to be strong.
Speaker A:But in reality, when you're a child, that's when you need to be learning that it's okay to express yourself so that you don't get stuck.
Speaker A:You don't have energy blocks when you're older that you have to work through.
Speaker A:Here's another little exercise, then we'll wrap it up.
Speaker A:When you're learning to sing, you first learn about the breath, and then you learn about the vowel shapes.
Speaker A:If you want a little bit more stimulation than just humming, one thing you can try is singing on different vowels.
Speaker A:Let's start first of all just sighing on different vowels.
Speaker A:So the vowels are A, e, I, o, u.
Speaker A:I was going to say oo because that's how we pronounce it when we sing.
Speaker A:So let's just make it simple.
Speaker A:Ah, O and E.
Speaker A:Deep breath in.
Speaker A:Now let's deep breath in on oh, O.
Speaker A:And now deep breath in.
Speaker A:Deep breath in.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:See, now you have three vowels.
Speaker A:Ah, o, and e.
Speaker A:You can listen back and sigh out these vowels with me or play with them.
Speaker A:You don't have to follow the same vocal tones that I did.
Speaker A:If this makes you feel very uncomfortable, good.
Speaker A:One thing that you'll learn is that you've got to be comfortable in your body to first make the sounds.
Speaker A:Once again, comes back to nervous system regulation.
Speaker A:So start off by shaking it out and then take some deep breaths and sigh it out on the vowels.
Speaker A:I hope you found this helpful today.
Speaker A:Next week we're going to be talking all about how to overcome the fear of being seen and heard.
Speaker A:Thank you so much for joining me on this this episode.
Speaker A:Please like and subscribe.
Speaker A:And if you found this helpful, maybe share it with a friend.
Speaker A:We'll see you next week.
Speaker A:Until then, stay healthy, wealthy, and wise.
